Journal Entry: For Those Who are Afraid of the Dark

7/11/15

As I begin my practice, cloaked by wet darkness, I take an inhalation of sweetness and of earth. I light a candle in front of me: signaling the internal flame that is with in us all. My breathes feel heavenly and a joy is sparked with in. I feel in love. My body tingles with awareness and sensation.

I dive in deep into my first Down Dog, feeling a supreme and exhilarated heaviness in my upper lip. I can feel my skin. I can feel my IMG_2453body. Tears of joy cup my eyes: It feels like coming home. A true contentment surrounds me: I am doing whatI love, a practice that loves and cares for me. I let my drishti (gazing point) be the darkness. I side with it, acknowledging the universe with in. Acknowledging that there is darkness within me that is so often overlooked by the light. A darkness
as infinite and as vast as that which lies outside my window. And then it occurs to me that the darkness I look out upon is a deep, loving teacher and a true, compassionate friend. I realize I do not hate the darkness. Its deep shadows do not scare me. In fact, I feel welcom
ed to it and all of it’s loud, lightless beauty. And then there is a shift within. One that feels uninhibited and unchallenged by the dark and shadowy part of myself I have long denied. The parts of me that seep out, screaming for attention, but most of all to be understood. I see a part of me that wants to be known and loved and taken care of, even when there is no light to shine upon it. When there is only feeling, sensation, thought and sound. I hear it within me. And it feels safe and it feels nurtured by the breath.

Inhale: Sweet tenderness and divine strength fill me. And in this moment I know I am loved, I know I am safe, I know I am beautiful, strong and powerful. I know I have purpose and that my time is now, and that all of the ultimate and unlimited potential is inside of me being carefully molded by the divine to fulfill my life’s work. And that clarity will come. And that it is within. And that what is with in is truth.

Jai Guru Dev ❤

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