I met Josh when I was working at my town’s local Co-op. He worked in a nearby shop and came in for his daily cucumber and broccoli. He had the kind of magnetism that made you turn a head when he walked into a room. I remember the first day I saw him, I immediately turned to my co-worker and said, “Who is this person and how can they be in my life?” Sure enough, about a month or two later, we started dating.
At the beginning of our relationship, I brought everything I knew about love to the table: I came with a tool box full of every rom-com, song, poem, TV show, and past relationship I’ve ever seen or experienced. It was like taking this huge block of clay and engulfing him in it. Hoping that something would stick and flatter him. However, as time continued on and feelings began to deepen, our love became more tailored to one another. No longer was it this general, broad, media-bred love, but instead a love that was real. A love that had been whittled and carved to fit what each other need in a partner.
Loving another in this way has given us the room to come to one another when we don’t feel fed by the relationship. Doing this gives us the chance to reflect on our actions and grow as individuals as well as partners. When there is space to be authentic then truth will emerge. Now, this is not to say that we have a relationship where nothing ever goes wrong, but it certainly gives space to express ourselves when things do. It can, in some ways, feel like a trial and error approach. And in some ways it is! The idea is that if something doesn’t work, you throw it out. Let your love be maluable like clay and your patience be the steady and guiding hand. This will surely lead to growth and self discovery through your partner.
Interestingly enough, with this concept love isn’t really a one size fits all. The way I love Josh is different that how I love my mother, my father, my best friend, and very different than how Harry loves Sally because each one is different and fundamentally requires different types of love from me. So I encourage you to share your experiences of love. How do you like to be loved? Have you experienced this in a relationship? Did it work? Did it not? Tell me the way you love or ask questions! I’d love to hear it!
Shanti Prem ❤
Josh & Aama
Firenze, Italy c. May 7, 2015
Image From: http://www.whichfordpottery.com/throwing-pots