Inspired by my simple, nutritious and delicious breakfast of apples, almond butter and honey, I thought I would share a journal entry I wrote about two months ago. Fruit inspired!
I am beginning to become more lucid in my thoughts. I noticed my ego was present in my practice. I noticed what it said, what it wanted, how it maneuvered, and how it made announcements that were not truly in alignment with my being and true soul.
My soul wishes for peace, while my ego wishes for war. My true soul wishes for love whilst my ego wishes for greed, lust, and envy. My true being appreciates and enjoys life with gratitude. My ego likes to mock, gossip, and create chaos and havoc in my life; ruthlessly, without considering the consequences.
Iyengar talks bout how the ego wants to create and recreate pleasures, no matter the consequences, but that is only partially true. Yes, the ego is an addict who solely wants to eat the fruit it remembers as sweet, even if it has rotted the next day. But within that repetitive want is a natural disease waiting to happen. If we eat the same fruit day after day we will not grow, our digestion will become weak, and out thoughts narrow. Repetitive want and seeking pleasure is an egoic misnomer. There is no way to recreate a moment or a sensation that has passed, for it no longer exists. Therefore, we lead a life full of pain and suffering, seeking every corner for the pleasure that once was, even if it ultimately leads us to insanity.
I was moved today by my practice, for I was able to observe the ego and allow it to rattle out its fallacies. Without judgment, I allowed each thought to rise and fall, but I was sure to police any thought that was not true and conscious by rephrasing, rewording, and by reminding myself what my truth is so I could continue to grow in my practice instead of eating rotten fruit.