A Raw Account of Starting Over and Beginning to Trust

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth” ~Pema Chödrön

What does it take to rebuild trust?

Ideally one does not break it in the first place. But what if it is inevitable? What if in one way or another you let someone down? Then what? Is your foundation ruined? Your sheets soiled? Your garden dismantled?

No.

Do you know what really happens when trust is broken? It provides a creative opportunity for new life, for new growth, and new beginnings. It is a strange concept, but true none the less, that only when trust has been broken can authentic trust begin. Authentic trust is dynamic, deep, and pliable. It creates a foundation made not of rock, stone, concrete, or shoddy plumbing, but that of which holds the ocean, the mountains, volcanoes, and the sky; something that shifts, adapts, and changes. Something designed to meet the other exactly where they are, exactly as they are.

What does it take to rebuild trust once it has been broken?

My honest opinion:

Sweet relentlessness and devotion.
What does it take to trust someone who has betrayed you?

Forgiveness and the willingness to let go of all that you have known for the possibility that something could be new.

Moving forward into authentic trust does not mean that the other person is not responsible for their actions, but that there is a willingness from both parties to relay the foundation and take the time necessary to mend together with honesty and vulnerability. When we shed our labels, identities, and ideologies of who or what the other should be, we see there are no others, for the other is ourself. The people who have wounded us, betrayed us, and abandoned us are merely an aspect of our own shadow self. We spend our time delineating, dwelling, repeating, and fantasizing about the future or reminiscing about the past. Real love however, and real forgiveness, is here and now. All that we can remember or anticipate is merely a shadow of love. When we give into our true nature, we relinquish our need to be separate, to isolate, to judge, to be right or wrong. Let go today. Judge not today. For when we judge, we make another person wrong for thinking a certain way or acting a certain way.

The interesting part of this journey is that we are all God playing hide and seek with ourself, and when we find ourself, we realize there is no amount of abandonment or betrayal that could harm us.

So how do we begin again?

Trust, the absence of fear, and the willingness to let reality be new. 

“People get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That’s not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart. To the degree that you didn’t understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you’re given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further.” ~ Pema Chödrön

Peachy Chicken Summer Salad

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Looking for a way to spice up your salad? Check out this recipe!

A sweet rendition of flavors with creamy avocado, sweet and tangy peach, with a zesty chicken and a little bit of spice.

 

Ingredients

Salad:

Partial Head of Romaine Lettuce

1 Bell Pepper

1/2 Avocado

1/2 Peach

1/4 cup non-gmo organic corn

1/4 cup black beans

Goddess Salad Dressing

Chicken:

1/2 chicken breast

2 tbsp coconut oil

A pinch of salt

A pinch of pepper

1/4 tsp Chili Powder

1/4 tsp Turmeric

1/4 tsp Cayenne

1/4 of a Lemon

 

Take salad fixings, chop, and mix well. Take a pan and add coconut oil on medium high heat. Add chopped chicken into the pan and add spices. Mix well. Cover chicken with a lid and turn on medium heat. Let chicken sit until cooked to your liking. Once complete, take chicken of heat and add to salad.

 

Enjoy ❤

Matcha Mamma’s Goddess Milk

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MATCHA ❤ The new love of my life is high in antioxidants, Vitamin B-complex,E, K, A and other trace minerals. It is also rich in polyphenols, chlorophyll, L-theanine and theophylline. The elements of matcha help to boost the immune system. The high antioxidant components help diminish free radicals in the body which allows the body to remain young and healthy looking. Matcha is a green tea which originates from Japan and has often been used for aid in diabetes, cancer, lethargy, and heart function.

Here, I have a delicious recipe for you which is full of such sweetness. The goddess milk is jam packed with highly nutritive ingredients that allow you to get that yummy, sweet taste without having to go on a sugar binge.

Ingredients

2 cups Rice Milk

1 tsp Spirulina

1 tbsp Matcha

A pinch of Himalayan Pink Salt

1 tsp-1 tbsp Honey

3-5 drops Stevia

Serves: 1-2

Place all ingredients into a cup, stir well and enjoy ❤

 

Pose of the Week: Humble Warrior

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Humble Warrior

BADDHA VIRABHADRASANA

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

~Ernest Hemmingway

The humble warrior teaches us to bow down to our efforts and our strength with grace and wisdom. The warrior with in us all teaches us all when to fight for what we believe in, when to stand for peace, and how to find the balance between the two.

Benefits of the Pose:

  • Stretches lungs, chest, & shoulders
  • Opens heart
  • Releases tension in the spine & neck
  • Strengthens & stretches arms, thighs, & calves

Asana Breakdown:

Start off in Warrior II. Take your hands behind your back and interlace your fingers. Open up your chest by drawing your shoulder blades together and your hands down towards the earth. Square up your chest to the front of the room and begin to bow forward. Allow your shoulder to rest or line up with your front knee as your hands continue to reach towards the sky. Breathe here. Relax the neck and create a micro bend in your arms.

 

Pose of the Week: Sugarcane Pose

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Sugarcane Pose

ARDHA CHANDRA CHAPASANA

Benefits of the pose:

  • Improves balance
  • Strengthens and stretches abdomen and legs
  • Opens hips
  • Lengthens and stretches spine

Asana breakdown:

There are a variety of ways to get into this posture, as it is a very dynamic pose. To begin, we’ll take this approach: Start off in Trikonasana (Triangle), take your hand facing the air and bring it behind your back to the opposite hip (i.e. if your right hand is in the air you would bring it behind your left hip). Take your gaze forward, move the hand that is on the ground forward a couple of inches, and being to gracefully transition forward by bending the front leg. Next, straighten the front or standing leg and bend the other so that the hand by your hip can grab your foot. Then, begin to extend your foot up towards the sky like an archer’s bow. Find a drishti or gazing point and breathe here. ❤

Pointers:

  • Keep a micro bend in the front knee so that you don’t hyper-extend.
  • If you have ankle issues, keep the ankle on your floating leg flexed.
  • Place a block under your hand that’s reaching for the ground if it is a stretch to get there right away.
  • If you can’t reach your foot, you can use a strap.

Pose of the Week: Eight Angle

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Eight Angle

ASHTAVAKRASANA

Pose Benefits:

  • Strengthens Arms, Wrists, Shoulders and Abdomen
  • Stretches Legs
  • Improves Balance
  • Tones inner Thighs

Asana Prep:

No doubt this is a more challenging asana and it is important to make sure you are fully warmed up to practice. To prep for this asana, I like to sit in staff and come into a “rock the baby” motion. Take your knee in on hand and your foot in the other and gently begin to twist your torso, rocking your leg back and forth as if it were a baby. If there’s more available, you can cradle your leg in your elbow creases. Repeat on the other side.

Asana Breakdown:

When you are fully warmed up and ready to begin, start in staff. Making sure your pelvic floor is tilted forward and your spine is erect. Begin with your left leg. Prop it behind your left shoulder. Firmly rooting your hands directly underneath your shoulders, make sure all five knuckles are connected to the floor. Move your weight  from your bottom to your wrists so that your sit bones comes off the ground. Now your right leg should be extended while your left leg sits above your left shoulder. This is a great place to begin and may be where you find yourself pushed to your edge. However, if there is more, hook your right foot to your left. Extend both legs and deeply bend your elbows so that your arms are parallel with the floor.

Food for Thought:

As you may notice, I am smiling in this photo. For me, this asana is not always an easy task, however, a teacher of mine once said that when you are in the midst of struggle, especially in an asana — but also in day to day life — try smiling and notice how the asana changes. So I encourage you to find the posture that pushes you and move into the meditative, nonattached mind, and smile. See how it changes your practice and how it changes your life from day to day. ❤

Egg-celent Breakfast

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Here’s an easy breakfast I threw together! Super easy, quick and yummy!

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Ingredients

New York Lox

2 eggs, hard boiled

1/4 cup lettuce

1/4 cup Spinash

1 avocado

Himalayan Pink Salt

Optional:

Capers

Lemon

Salad Dressing

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Take out a small pot, fill with water, add eggs. Let boil for 10-15 min. Take out lox, cut lettuce, and avocado. Sprinkle with salt. Add capers and squeeze lemon over it or add salad dressing, if desired. Once eggs are done, remove the shell, slice, and serve!

Pose of the Week: Dolphin

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Dolphin

MAKARASANA

Benefits of the Pose:

  • Relieves mild depression, headaches & back pains
  • Helps to calm the mind
  • Relieves symptoms of osteoporosis
  • Strengthens shoulders and abdominals
  • Stretches Hamstrings
  • Opens Heart
  • Preparation for forearm balance

Such a beautiful posture, amazing for alignment and strengthening the body to prepare for forearm balance. To get into this posture, begin in table or Adho Mukha Svanasana (Down ward facing dog). Once you have come into alignment in your preparatory posture, come down to your fore arms. Hands can come together into prayer, lay flat on the floor, or gently be clasping one another. If hamstrings are tight, you may take a bend in the knees. Otherwise, root though your ankles, allowing them to press into the floor. Allow the collar bones to lift and spread as shoulder blades draw near one another, chest beams towards the knees. Head hangs heavy. ❤

Please feel free to leave any questions, comments, or recommendations bellow.

A Change In Perspective

  

“Yoga is the uniting of consciousness in the heart. 

The lotus flower has long been a symbol for the unfolding of spirituality. It is one of the most elegant illustrations of the meshing of our human and Divine natures.  

The lotus seed is planted and grows in muddy waters, below the surface of the lake, far from the light. Though the light is murky and clear, the flower blossoms by drawing energy from within. As the bud passes through the muddy waters, it lifts its face to the sunlight and finally emerges. Miraculously, not a trace of soil remains on the flower. It lives in the mud yet it is not affected by it….

Yogah Citta Vritti Nirodahah. Yoga is the uniting of consciousness in the heart” (Devi 16).

I am happy to report a change in my life. For the past two months or so, everyday has seemed to bring new horror and drudgery, leading me into the shadow-self. It didn’t take much, just a few changes and suddenly I was able to see the beauty around me and the amount of abundance I have to be grateful for.

There were so many people I encountered in the last two months that were so blissful and grateful for the life they had. I saw them and thought to myself, I want that kind of bliss and contentment. It’s hard to feel happy all the time or even grateful for one thing in your life. Yogis are often painted as figures who see the world in technicolor all of the time because they are supposed to have some mystical secret told to them by the yoga gods, but that’s not true. Yogis are human, just like everyone else. We each have the opportunity, like the lotus flower, to be affected by our circumstance, to blame what has come before. However, we can also choose to see each day anew and gather strength from within. Instead of looking at all of the mud we are surrounded by, we can take our gaze to the sun; to the infinite.

So today I shed gratitude for all of the circumstances of my life, they bring to to new depths and new challenges, but they also bring me to new heights and new joys.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

-John Lennon

Stuffed Carnival Squash with Cheesy Millet

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Hello Vegetarians and veggie-eaters! It’s officially cold outside and the day of smoothies and cooling food have wained their way into the season of warm foods and root vegetables.

This meal is affordable and filling so eat up because you can make quite a bit!

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Ingredients

Squash:

1 Carnival Squash

Salt

Pepper

Spike Seasoning

Vegan Butter

1/2 lemon

Filling:

1 Cup Spinach

1 Portabello Mushroom

1/4 Cup Yellow Onion

1 clove Garlic

1 tbsp Olive Oil

2-3 tbsp Tamari

A pinch of Salt

A pinch of Pepper

Feta Cheese

Pine Nuts

Millet:

1/2 Cup Millet

1/4 Cup Mozzarella

1/4 Cup Sharp Cheddar

1 tbsp Rosemary

Salt

Pepper

Salad:

Red leaf Lettuce

Carrots

Purple Cabbage

Add Dressing of Choice

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Optional: 4 hours to 1 night before, soak millet in water with a pinch of salt. When ready to prepare the meal, strain millet through fine mesh strainer and set aside.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Take your squash and cut it in half and scoop out the seeds. Take a spoonful of vegan butter and place it in the center of the squash. Placing the squash skin-side-down on a baking pan, sprinkle salt, pepper, and spike over the squash. Place in the oven for 45 minutes.

When timer goes off for the squash, turn off oven. Flip squash over, skin-side-up, and let it sit in the over until dinner is ready to be served. You’ll notice it looks like the moisture was taken out of the squash, turning it over spreads out the butter and brings some of the moisture back.

Take out a small pan and place one cup of water in it on high heat. Once water boils, add millet and turn down to medium/low heat and cover with a lid. When the millet has cooked completely (takes roughly 10-15 minutes), add in cheese, rosemary, salt, and pepper. Stir frequently and keep on low heat till cheese has melted completely.

Meanwhile, Prepare Salad.

About 10 to 15 minutes before squash is ready, take out a frying pan and pour olive oil in the pan. Cut up onion and mushrooms and place in the pan on medium/high heat for 2-3 minutes. Once the onions have caramelized, add chopped spinach, garlic and tamari. Cook for another 2-3 minutes with lid on. Turn off heat, cover with lid, and set aside until squash is ready.

When squash is ready, squeeze lemon on top and add in filling with pine nuts and feta. Dish out salad and millet and serve.